Stupid Things
by Jace22
Summary: Chas has done stupid things, but the one that tops it all has to be falling for John Constantine. Slash JohnChas


Stupid Things

Falling for John Constantine had to be _the_ dumbest thing Chas Chandler had ever done in his entire life. And there had been some pretty dumb things. Most of the things that even began to compare though, somehow connected to John.

For instance the way he'd begun to hang around his apartment more and more. It started out he'd stop by and ask John a few questions, try to convince him to let him help him exorcise a demon or two by impressing him with his knowledge. Then gradually he started staying longer and longer and coming by more and more. He'd bother John for a bit—not that he meant to, but it was pretty hard _not_ to bother him—and then get some food from the kitchen and hang out for awhile.

The thing was once he started coming by more, the food started to get better. At first there hadn't been much, in fact Chas had to bring his own food most of the time since John Constantine didn't really do junk food even though he did do cigarettes about...well lets just say all the time to be on the safe side.

But one day Chas opened up a few cupboard doors and found a few bags of chips. John didn't mention it, so Chas figured he shouldn't either.

That was pretty dumb only because that led to him staying there for nights on end which led to his parents getting somewhat suspicious—that is when they paid attention—and because John probably wasn't the healthiest person to live with.

Most of all, think of all the complications that brought, what with how he'd started to dream about John at night and think about him all the time. He was seventeen years old, what could you expect him to do with this handsome, dangerous guy who he idolized.

Pretty stupid when he was trying to avoid falling for him because Chas had a pretty good idea of how that would end up, and it wasn't pretty.

XxXx

"John, why the hell did you buy Lucky Charms?"

"What's the problem, isn't that what you eat?" He said the word 'you' not like he was talking to Chas, but like he was talking about a species.

"Lucky Charms?" Chas imagined John picking them off a store shelf, inspecting the box, making a face, and then taking them with him just because that seemed like the kind of thing Chas would eat. Needless to say it was pointless for him to even try to hold in his laughter.

"Fuck off." John muttered, and Chas half wanted to say something to make him feel better since really when he thought about it, that was pretty nice as far as John went with nice. Chas laughter died down slightly when he thought about John thinking about him.

"Well at least you didn't get Trix or Captain Crunch." Chas said, and that was about as good as it got.

XxXx

"How come you started smoking?" Chas asked one night while John was on his fifth cigarette since they'd finished dinner.

"What kind of a question is that?" John said, giving him a look.

"One that wasn't rhetorical?"

"Do you even know what that word means?"

"Yeah I fucking know what the word means, I did graduate from high school early for a reason John."

Since it wasn't really his style to apologize for something so trivial—or very much at all for that matter—John just said, "I don't know why I started. I just did, nothing better to do I guess."  
"Did you think it was cool or something?" Chas snorted, imagining a thirteen year old John trying to act cool. He couldn't picture it though since he thought John was pretty damn cool.

"I have no fucking clue kid, just go back to your book." John said, and that was the end of that.

XxXx

"When was the last time you were out with someone?"

"I don't know, a year ago?"

"That was before I came along wasn't it."

"Yup."

"So wait does that mean--?"

"Shut up."

XxXx

Another stupid John related thing that Chas did was start to think about the man while he was sitting right next to him. Either that or he'd start to stare at his lips when he spoke, let his eyes hold his a little longer than necessary, inch closer to him in any way possible like he was playing a little dangerous game. He got kinda high off that game because the closer he got to John the more he could breathe in his scent and picture his hands on his skin.

Chas always had to cut off his fantasies and thoughts before they went to far or else there could be some seriously awkward moments. Even more awkward then when John would say something to him multiple times because he was so far gone that he couldn't even hear what he was saying.

XxXx

"You're not coming with—stop looking at me like that." John demanded abruptly as he was once again telling Chas he couldn't go with him to an exorcism because he would just get in the way. It made Chas crazy that he still wouldn't let him go, he knew he was ready. He was more ready for this than he'd been for anything else in his life. He didn't get why John didn't trust him, think he was capable of anything, or think he was ready for _anything_. The only thought that consoled him in the slightest was that maybe John was doing it because he harbored some feelings for Chas, at least some sort of protectiveness for him, but he couldn't let himself fall for him.

Which brought Chas to his final stupid John related tendency. He had this way of convincing himself of things. For instance, that he has a chance with him even though he was just a 17 year old kid and a fairly inexperienced one at that since he was never much for the social scene while he was still in school. He preferred to spend his time researching demons and exorcisms and ancient languages in secluded areas of libraries. He never thought it would lead him to a guy like John Constantine, and he's still not sure if that means he's lucky or not.

Sometimes he got so caught up with making himself feel better he thought that maybe John was staring at him while Chas drove him around or while he was eating breakfast in the morning. Usually when he looked though, John's attention was focused elsewhere.

Another thing he would tell himself was that John didn't seem bothered by his too-long looks and his habit of trying to get as close to him as possible. He figured his mind and judgment was pretty clouded by his feelings though, so he still wasn't sure about anything yet.

It caught him so off guard when John asked him why he was looking at him like that because his stomach dropped and he got this weird anxious feeling like this big fear of his was to be realized. Like everything was going to be dragged out in the open, or at least he was going to experience some rejection. Maybe it wouldn't be outright rejection, but John would tell him he can't stand him looking at him that way and Chas would then know that he has no chance.

That is, unless he managed to convince himself otherwise again. He could always think that John just didn't like to be stared at and didn't understand why Chas was looking at him that way. Yeah, Chas figured he could do that; after all, love does tend to blind people; Chas was no exception.

"Like what?" Chas raised an eyebrow at him. "Isn't it sorta normal to look at someone when they're talking to you?"

"You're always looking at me in that intense way, like I'm fucking god or something."

"That right there John? That's called arrogance. I know you've got a lot of that, but never to this extent. _God_, John?"

"You know what I mean."

Chas just shrugged, and even though a part of him wanted the conversation to continue because things couldn't keep going on that way, he let John turn and walk out the door without any further arguments.

He poured all the cereal in John's kitchen into the trash because he didn't really feel like eating there much anymore. That seemed like the best way to show it.

John found him sitting outside on a park bench, idling kicking his foot against the grass, not really thinking about anything and everything all at once.

"You're stupid kid, you know that?"

"Go fuck yourself." Chas muttered halfheartedly.

"Don't be like that." John said rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. He made a move to sit down next to Chas, but stepped back before he did.

"What's the matter with you?" He asked.

"Nothings the matter."

"That's bullshit. Dumping out cereal? Is that you're version of a cry for help?"

"No, I just didn't think there'd be much of a purpose for it since no one would be eating it anyway."

"Is this about what I said before? Do you want to fucking talk or something?" John said the word 'talk' like it was poison. He sat down next to Chas, and once again Chas found himself inching slightly closer.

The game seemed even more dangerous then for some reason.

He hated John for sitting because if he was intoxicated by his scent, if he could feel the heat of his body next to him, then he could not be held responsible for any of his words or actions.

Chas looked at John, contemplating what words there were to express everything he wanted to say.

"Screw talking." Chas said and pushed himself against John, reveling in the sensation of his lips against his. It was so different then the one other kiss he'd had with a girl named Katie who'd asked him to dance at a party. He only remembered her because it had been his first kiss, and she'd tried to call him a few times, but gave up after she saw he wasn't that interested. Her lips had been softer than Johns, but he hadn't had this passion for her, so that gave this kiss an entirely different feel.

"This is fucked up, you know that, right?" John said, and his lips were so close to his that Chas could practically _feel_ the words against his skin.

"Yeah, fucked up." Chas replied, and had a strange urge to laugh.

"It's so wrong, but when you look at me I--"

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

He kissed him again, embracing warm hands against the chill in the air, and he let John take him home to a place where he belonged.


End file.
